An Effortless Amen

Much humility required if applied

I remember (a version) of this quote from when I first read Lewis’s A Grief Observed.

The confident AMENS from confident church go-ers echo off the sanctuary walls immediately when I imagine using this quote in a sermon. It’s a good quote. Clickbait worthy, even.

But it is not a pithy, shallow quote. Honestly, I don’t fully remember if this is the actual quote or if it was something I inferred from what he said. But I know the heart of this quote is at the heart of what he wrote.

The truth is that it takes a great deal of humility to embody. I cannot just say this statement, smile, and move on as if I have agreed with the great thinker. This statement demands humility.

Firstly, I must be willing to admit that my idea of God may be wrong. And this sucks because if I have been wrong about my idea, then what good is what I believe? See, I have studied, wrestled, and worked hard to be certain of my beliefs. But what if God’s purpose has nothing to do with my certainty?

That means I have to give up control. I don’t like that. Control gives me a feeling of safety. And it is certainly not safe to say that my ideas about God— the things I’ve learned, studied, heard preached, preached myself, etc.— evolve. Yikes.

To say these words requires a vulnerability that is accompanied by fear and trembling— feelings that do not come with certainty. I must be willing to meet the God who is God, and not just my version of Him. What happens when he changes my ideas, grows me in suffering, and marks me beyond my control? I can’t control that. I can’t even predict or plan for that.

I can only experience and grow into it. And I want to want to know that God.